I Finally Mourned the Death of My Marriage...

Saturday night (10/17/09), during the 'Afterglow', which took place after the teaching. For the last month, people kept telling me that I needed to mourn but everytime the tears started to surface, I would push them away and find something else to do. Also, I think that I didn't want to appear vulnerable or weak in front of the husband. But last night during the 'Afterglow', the tears came and wouldn't stop. I cried for about a half hour, but it was a needed and healing weeping. I have never cried for so long in my life. But now I know that the Lord will provide for any of my needs and I can rest in Him.

CCRC's Women's Retreat 2009

So, I spent the weekend (10/16-10/18/09) in Murietta for the women's retreat. It was a great weekend. The topic was Psalm 23, which was so appropriate with everything that's going on in my life right now. I am doing to break down the sections as we went through the 6 verses of the Psalm.

Teaching I - Psalm 23 - The Shepherd we need.

Teaching II - Psalm 23:2 - The Sheperd of Rest and Peace

Teaching III - Psalm 23:3 - The Sheperd of Healing and Guidance

Teaching IV - Psalm 23:4-5 - The Shepherd of Presence

Teaching V - Psalm 23:6 - The Shepherd of Hope and Heaven

Each section was broken down and explained. It was interesting, emotional and a true blessing. In between teachings, we also had devotion and down time to reflect on the teachings and have devotional time with the Lord. Over the almost 48 hours that I was there, I walked almost 4.5 miles. Thank God I took my walking shoes with me, or I'd be hurting. Oh, and they know how to feed you, too. Here is the menu from the weekend:

Friday Night
Dinner
Chicken with Curry sauce
CousCous ) I had 4 small bites...it was yummy)
Steamed green beans and carrots
Fresh whole wheat bread
Apple tart (1/8 of a pie = about 2ozs.)

Saturday
Breakfast
Quiche Lorraine (1/8 of a pie = 2-3ozs)
Fresh zucchini bread
Fresh fruit
Orange Juice
Lunch
Chicken salad sandwiches (on butter croissant - De-constructed (chicken, mayo, celery and red grapes...no bread)
Snack-sized Sun Chips
Fruit salad (cantalope, honeydew, grapes and pineapple)
Oatmeal choc. chip cookie
Strawberry lemonade
Dinner
Roast beef with mushrooms (I had about 3ozs)
Penne pasta with garlic/parmesan/cream sauce (I had 3 pieces of pasta)
Steamed broccoli
Fresh Catalina bread
Black & White Mousse (Dark and white chocolate...I had about 4 bites)

Sunday
Breakfast
Scrambled eggs
Ham
Stawberry/Banana Yogurt
Fresh Fruit
Freshly made Granola (I didn't have any)

I also had SF Iced Chai lattes from their coffee shop...Yummy!

So all in all, It was a fantastic weekend with awesome women and awesome teachings.

My Marriage is OVER...

So, the husband told me on Sept. 19th that he wanted a divorce. What a shock. I said 'okay', as I've wanted out for a while. We have decided to be adult about it. No mud-slinging, no bashing each other. Since we both manage the complex we live in, we can't force each other out of our condo. We will be having a 'live-in divorce'. Neither of us can afford to move at this point. I have been looking for a job since March, and he was laif off from his job in July. He has an interview with a school district on 10/21, and I have a test date for the county that we live in, on 10/29. So hopefully we will get these new jobs and be able to live apart.