Things that make you go, hmmmm....

Ok, so he came home from the men's retreat and we started fighting. I told him that calling me a WHORE was unacceptable. He said he didn't call me a whore. I told him that whether it was a sexual whore or an attention whore, a whore is a whore and I'm neither of those. I refuse to be in a relationship like this anymore! He may not be physically abusing me, but verbal and emotional abuse is just as bad, if not worse. And what's funny is that he can start it, but as soon as I begin to respond, he says HE's not doing this and retreats to the garage. He can dish it out but he can't take it. I'm not going to just sit back and let him treat me like crap.
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He also paid for the oil to be changed in my car since he no longer wants to do it for me. He is also helped me out of a financial bind. Now I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whenever he does something for me, there are always hidden strings attached. When he helps me, if he wants something later and I say no, then I get the, 'I did this, I did that for you'. That's why I don't ask him to do anything for me anymore.
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Oh, and he’s been listening to this marriage series thru Horizon Church in San Diego, California. I've been listening with him and it's quite interesting. But if he thinks that him listening to them and changing his attitude and behavior now is going to keep me from still wanting the divorce, he is sadly mistaken. I told him in 2009 when he said that he wanted the divorce that he'd better be sure it what he wants, because there was NO going back. I still feel the same way almost 2 years later.
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I had an appointment with the Department of Rehab on June 1st and since I am considered permanently disabled, I qualify for job placement or education services. I am hoping that they can pay for college so that I can at least get my A.A. in business. And hopefully it'll come with some money every month. If it's enough to get caught up on bills, I will move out...even if I have to rent a room from someone.
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Below are two of my favorite quotes lately:
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"Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you imagined." ~Henry David Thoreau
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My marriage is the past. I am looking forward to the future and what new adventures I can find.
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"How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours." ~Wayne Dyer~
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I am going to no longer react when the ex (yes, I can him the ex even though no papers have been filed) begins a fight and gets hurtful. I will rise above it and take the high road. The attitude will be all on him.